Tuesday, July 10, 2001

Chris has turned into such an asshole.
He never used to be like this.

He doesn't smile at me anymore, and doesn't even meet my eyes.
The other night, he would not kiss me. He wouldn't. He rejected me when I tried, and I'm not going to stand for that shit.

Or maybe I'm just being a bitch. Tell me, when you try to kiss somebody and they push you away - for no reason! i dont know why ! - what do you do?
I looked at him with this incredulous look on my face, and said okay, shrugged and hopped out of the car. I didn't act like I cared, becasue I know Chris and I know that acting totally disinterested in him is a nice way to make him splutter.
But I was smarting. Being rejected is no fun. Being made to feel like someone's plaything, to be used and then chucked into a corner until next time, is not a good thing. And it hurts, you know. Even though I don't have strong feelings for him... i did enjoy it, you know. I liked having someone to cuddle into.
The thing is, I have heaps of other friends I can cuddle with, and it makes me feel wanted and special to have an arm slung across my shoulders or an arm resting across my leg as I sprawl out to watch a movie or something with one of my friends. It doesn't bother me, that kind of physical contact thing - I like it, I feel reassured that they are there. I could live without my friends, I know, but I wouldn't like to have to.

So this thing with Chris is stinging my mind. I'm going to have to tell him off, and he's not going to like it. But I'm not going to sit around with my hands folded and wait for things to get better.

That's just a pussy way of doing things.


She knows what's going on
Seems we got a cheaper feel now


[Tori Amos - Cornflake Girl]
Forget it. He's a bastard.