Saturday, August 11, 2001

My eyes are dry. I've been working for the past eight hours or so, and I'm tired. Having a job like mine is no joke. It's constant work, all the time.

My roommate (one of the other ones) is yelling something about a sore throat. I'm typing so fast I can hardly see my fingers on the kays, all I can see is a vague blur. There are hacking and choking sounds coming from the kitchen. I hope no one is throwing up in the sink.

I was pretty much offered physics, or what I like to call physics, tonight from someone I've known for a while and who is in their late 20's and who has a kid and who is very very attrractive. I'm talking super hunk here, a very sweet guy, loves his little girl to bits and who is one of the most considerate guys I've ever met. And if it werent for the little hitches of him being so much older and so much more settled and him much more experienced and him having a kid (I am not exactly famous for liking small children) and him being good friends with Chris... if not for all this, I might actually be attracted to him.
Wacky world hey.

Sunday, August 05, 2001

Jei is just so cool sometimes.

My love life is on hold at the moment. On hold?! It hasn't been on hold for bloody AGES. Since I left school it's been like I've been constantly lusting after / getting myself involved with / being involved with / breaking up with at least someone. And now I guess I am lusting after / getting involved with someone, but the fact that I don't know where he IS at the moment have me in a real bind, and theres nothing I can do about himi, because he's NOT HERE.
And I don't want to get in with anyone else when I feel this way about him.

I'm not sure whats happening with Ran and I either. As far as I'm concerned, we have the perfect friendship, we get on real well and we have absolutely no romantic feelings for one another whatsoever, which means him and I can have the perfect notsexbutclose relationship. But it's like I don't feel that enthusiastic about the physical side of it any more, because of how I feel about Dave. Who is not here and may not be here for the next, well, year or so! how screwed is that little situation.

And I was close, very close, to go crawling back to Chris and asking for the resumption of our friendship (not the physical thing but just the friendship) and apologize to him and just basically beg him, and then before I did that I had a chat to Jei. Who as it turns out knew all along about us... and never said a word, had just nursed me though all my little crises and helped me with all the shit i had been trying to wade though with 'this guy' (all this time i never told him who the person in question WAS, but turns out he knew - he knew - dammit Jei!) and Jei, who knows Chris a lot better than I ever did, set me straight. Again, Jei, you're a legend. You would have eased my mind if youd told me you knew a bit earlier though...

i gotta go. There's a sweet, lovely person waiting for me to come pick her up from town, and she knows me best out of all the people in the world.